👨Daddy putdown 👨
A client once asked me ‘Any tips on dad doing bedtime?’
Yes! However I should say that I work with many different families and sometimes we have two mums, two dads or grandparents and aunties who live with the baby. This post is for anyone who wants to help include another adult at bedtime and naptime.
Maternity leave often means one parent does the majority of naptime and bedtimes so involving dad or another caregiver is really beneficial. It not only gives that parent a break, but it helps baby feel secure with both parents or special person at bedtime. Transitioning can take a little time, but here are some tips that usually make it smoother:
1. Keep the routine consistent
* Use the same order mum usually does (bath, PJs, feed, book, cuddle, bed).
* Familiar steps help baby feel safe, even if the caregiver changes.
2. Involve Dad or the other adult gradually
* Start with small roles during the routine (reading the book, giving the bath, or singing the lullaby).
* Over time, the other adult can take over the full routine.
3. Use familiar comfort cues
* Baby may be used to mum’s voice, smell, or way of holding. The other adult can try wearing a shirt that smells like Mum or using the same lullaby/white noise.
4. Expect a little protest at first
* If baby fusses because it’s “different,” that’s normal. Staying calm and consistent is key—babies adjust quickly once they learn bedtime with the other adult is safe and loving.
5. Create a new ritual
* Maybe a special song, a little phrase, or a unique cuddle. This builds positive associations and makes bedtime with the new adult something to look forward to.
6. Team approach at first
* Mum can stay nearby for reassurance (but not always step in immediately). Sometimes a wave goodnight from Mum, then the other adult finishing up, eases the transition.
Over time, babies learn that sleep is safe no matter who is putting them down. And bonus: it helps prevent sleep from becoming linked only to one parent.
